Comments on the Flyers’ Comments Section

[AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was written for The Broad Street Bully, a blog and podcast my friend Drew and I started based off of our mutual interest in the Philadelphia Flyers. See it on http://broadstreetbully.net.]

I realize complaining about the comments section is kind of counter productive for us because this whole website and podcast is just a giant comment.  But, some people take their commentary to the next level.  I recently perused a certain group of posts, made by Flyers fans, on a website where you can book people’s faces (wink).   The posts ranged from today through the last game of the 2014-2015 season.  Here’s some of the good stuff I found.

Names were left out to protect identities.  Because I wouldn’t want people to know what I was doing on the internet if I was the one sending some of these posts.

FLYERS POST ON A VIDEO OF A STEVE MASON SAVE

“The Flyers need a goalie. A real goalie. Because Mason is a living joke.”

A living joke. That had the third best season in Flyers history. With a defense that was poorly patched together and had the effectiveness of a fishing net. I’d like to think it’s someone trolling but there’s a certain honesty to this post where I think it’s someone who just doesn’t know.  It’s like someone who looks at the astrophysics Wikipedia and then wants to work it into their conversations.

“Speaking of some theories about how next season will go, did you know that modern astronomical research often involves a substantial amount of work in the realms of theoretical and observational physics?”

FLYERS POST ON MOVING THEIR PRESEASON GAME BECAUSE OF THE POPE VISIT

“Screw the Pope! Flyers hockey is more important!”

Accurate.

FLYERS POST ABOUT GENERAL 2015/2016 EXCITEMENT

“IM HUGERIEST BIGGRIESEST FLYERS FAN OF everyone”

NOW THAT’S DETERMINATION, everyone.

“Play sucky flyers suck”

Apparently, commas and cohesive thoughts suck, too.

“WIN ME THAT CUP BEFORE I CAN COLLET SOCIAL SECURITY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!”

I still got 40 or so years before that but I feel the same way.

“LET´S GO PENS”

I HATE THE FLYERS BUT I FOLLOW THEIR PAGES AND THEN COMMENT ON THEIR POSTS BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. THANKS.

FLYERS POST ON DANNY BRIERE RETIRING

“Can someone PLEASE explain the love fest for this guy? All I ever hear is how clutch he is come playoff time. He is a career minus player come post season. The ONLY player I’ve seen who plays center for the offensive zone, but then moves to the wing in the defensive zone, because he refuses to play defense.. He single handedly knocked the flyers out of the second round matchup against the Devils with attempted line change a peewee would get raked over the coals for.. But since he’s on the score sheet for 2 goals, we just forget about the 3 he causes at the other end?? Please help me out..???”

Goddamn you, Danny Briere. One terrible line change defines your legacy.  Just pack up your house and move back to YouStink-ville.

FLYERS POST ON THEIR DRAFTPICK GOALIE, FELIX SANDSTROM

“watching him on the ice reminded me of Pelle Lindbergh just a little<3”

Hopefully Sandstrom is a better driver. Too soon?

FLYERS POST ON THE JAKE VORACEK BOBBLE HEAD

“Maybe those bobleheads will help you win I doubt it maybe start drafting some sask boys again and you will start to win again we don’t like to loose hockey games”

All I got was “loose Saskatoon boys”. I think I’m missing the point.

FLYERS POST ON THE DRAFT DAY RESULTS

“Anyone is better then emery in net a pulled goalie stopped more shots then him”

He will punch you in the face.

“David your a moron. Seriously do you watch hockey, do you kno the area of NEEDS the flyers have? Your showing me a post that speculates the flyers might target a goalie so that’s where your heads at? Lol. Good try”

Probably shouldn’t tell people how the draft is going to go before it happens. Probably should also use the right “you’re” if you’re going to call people morons.

“Easy trade. Send 1st pick, Lecavalier, Samuel Morin and 5 millions to Oilers for their1st pick.”

“You don’t understand how the nhl works do you. And Lecavailer is no trade value, none. If anything he’s a negative on any trade, no team is going to take his contract.”

  1. Turn off fair trades.
  2. Trade Lecavalier for Steven Stamkos.
  3. Do it or otherwise fire Hextall.

FLYERS POST ON THE HANGING OF A CLAUDE GIROUX BANNER ON THE WELLS FARGO CENTER

“Trade emery”

Huzzah.

FLYERS POST ON RENEWING SEASON TICKETS:

“Disgraceful! Should reduce ticket prices 50%, equal to the effort management has given in fielding a Stanley Cup Contender. Flyers ranked 24 out of 30 teams in points! Smh”

It sounds like someone is just angry the Flyers ticket department keeps calling them.

“Can’t reduce ticket prices , they owe so.many former flyers money it’s silly , pronger , bryzgalov , Richards , have to pay vinny unless they can move him and laviolette and berube have money owed as well , they have very little room to do anything .”

24th in points but seventh in team revenue. I think they’ll be just fine with any decisions involving money.  Also, brush up on how compliance buyouts, coach contracts, and how the salary cap works.

FLYERS POST ON THEIR LAST GAME OF THE 2014-2015 SEASON

“Goodbye you disappointing bums ! hope to see half of you gone when you run back down here from the canada winter . wuzzies”

Goodbye, readers!  Hope to see half of you when a new post goes up and you guys run back here from not doing other things.  Wuzzies.

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